Joe Fleck

PDF

Joe was dying, but he thought he saw the receptionist making eyes at him. He tried to meet her gaze and she looked away quickly. Joe found her to be a little on the hefty side, but he knew his options were few and always fewer. He could see her looking again in his periphery and tried to think of something to say. He blushed.

The doctor opened his door with a squeak. “Come on in, Joe,” he said slowly.

Joe collected himself and smiled as he walked past the receptionist. She smiled and looked down awkwardly. “I’ve never had this kind of power over a woman,” Joe thought.

He stepped into the office.

“New clerk seems nice doc,” he said, “Friendly.”

“What’s that on your face Joe?” said the doctor. “Christ, here’s a tissue. Take two, you’re sweating Joe.”

Joe stood there a moment.

“Shoot me straight doc, the cancer’s tearing through my body isn’t it? It’s multiplyin’ by the minute,” he said. “Tumor? …is it a tumor?”

The doctor set some papers on the table. “Still no cancer Joe,” he said.

“Everything’s fine. Your blood pressure is a little high, but everything’s fine. You’re healthier than most folks your age.”

“No way doc, I’m unsound. I was jerry-built in the first place,” said Joe. “I’ve got this rash on my thigh here…”

The doctor cut him off. “You’re O.K. Joe. Only trouble is your nerves. Try to relax… take a trip somewhere.”

“Don’t have a car doc, and you won’t catch me on a plane,” said Joe. “The hammer’s coming down, I’m unsound.”

“Everything’s O.K. Joe. I’ll talk to you next time. I have other patients to tend to.”

“Other patients? It’s a ghost town out there doc.”

“Nice talking to you, Joe. I’ll see you next time.”

“O.K. doc, see ya next time.” Joe walked out of the office and looked at the receptionist. “Thanks a lot, miss,” he said. He walked down the three steps to the sidewalk.

It was a beautiful day. Rays of sunlight shot through the trees and scattered themselves on the grass. Birds were chirping, kids were playing and Joe was dying. “Why do they have to play on the sidewalk?” Joe thought.

“Go bug your parents, get out of my way!” he yelled. The kids laughed and continued to play. Joe clutched his heart and dropped to the sidewalk with a heavy thud. One of the children began to scream and the others followed suit.

The doctor soon left the building and met Joe where he lay. “Get some help!” he yelled to the receptionist.

When Joe came to, he was being pushed down the sidewalk on a stretcher. “What’s happening, doc?” he said.

“Heart attack Joe,” said the doctor. “We’re taking you to the ER.” The doctor was struck by the peaceful look in Joe’s eyes.

The stretcher bumped rhythmically along the sidewalk and Joe laid his head back. He smiled triumphantly.

Running Man Newsletter

Get RMP updates, select articles, essays and goings-on